…but I’ve learned that, almost always, when someone begins a message (blog post, FriendFeed post, tweet, op-ed column, conversation, whatever) with that phrase, they’re about to say something offensive and disrespectful.
[Just a thought.]
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That’s so true. “With all due respect” typically means “I think you are a contemptible ass.”
I’ve often wondered if people use this phrase b/c in their own heads, they cannot separate an idea from its creator…and assume the recipient cannot either.
I wonder if it has to do with situation. I mean, if I thought I could get away with telling a boss, for instance, that he or she is indeed a contemptible ass, I would. So saying “with all due respect” can be a way of CYA, showing deference to the contemptible ass, so on. Then again, is it because more often than not a lot of people get easily offended over nothing? But yea, I have noticed that as well. You hear the phrase, you know something is coming.
Best, and keep on blogging.
Of course. I use those phrases with full awareness of the problem. I mean something like “I *recognize* that this statement has an implication which is offensive or disrespectful, but I do not primarily intend that personal element” (i.e. it exists, but isn’t the goal).
I deal with this a lot when I argue with blog-evangelists. I think many of them preach nonsense-on-stilts, and moreover there’s significant financial incentive for them to do so – but saying that can lead into a rhetorical trap:
Evangelist: “Are you claiming I do THIS FOR THE MONEY? How dare you. That’s so rude! …”
Me: “Well, no disrespect intended, but it is a fact that your entire income is based on selling this stuff.”
If someone contends I should never mention that aspect, I disagree – I think those monetary aspects are very important in order to understand the driving forces involved.
Ah, another demonstration of the Comment Randomness Principle (“you can never predict which posts, not involving birth, death, marriage or new jobs, will get lots of comments”).
Seth: I would note that you’re using it in conversation–not as an opening statement. The situation’s a little different. (I could argue that you do, in a case like this, intend some disrespect…but maybe not.)
Now that we’ve established that I can Draw Comments Like Crazy(TM), can I get the big ad bucks? (OK, so Scalzi gets dozens of times as many comments. But he’s Scalzi.)
[Scrambling to check how many times I’ve used that in my posts, LOL]. Good observation there. Reminds me of some YouTube videos whose blurb says, “I do not own any of this stuff; I’m copying this and sharing it here for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement intended”.