Comments on: Life-changing events

By: walt

walt — Fri, 26 Aug 2005 02:48:39 +0000

Elizabeth makes an excellent point. In some divorces, both people walk out happier; in others, one would hope that at least one would wind up happier. (But I’ve never been divorced and hope never to be, so I’m no expert. It would be really sad if two people divorced and both felt worse after the divorce, but I’m sure it happens.)

Otherwise, Elizabeth, I appreciate your note, and I think you’re probably right about degrees of life-changing events. I deliberately chose a set of positive events–ones that, if they change your life at all, should change it for the better.

I guess I think all of those I listed are life-changing, but in some cases in a very small way, much as having a really good meal or a first-rate wine is life-changing in a small (and ephemeral) way. There are many degrees of life-changing.

The first book? I must admit, I think of that as a fairly big deal. (Heck, I think of the 14th book as a fairly big deal…) There’s something about holding those author’s copies, even after you’ve approved (or created) the galleys…

Between these and Dorothea’s separate comment at CavLec, I’m once again impressed and delighted by the quality of conversation hereabouts.

By: Elizabeth McKenty

Elizabeth McKenty — Thu, 25 Aug 2005 20:06:39 +0000

First off, Seth, I do celebrate my divorce, quite regularly, for the past eleven years. Every day unmarried to him is a good day. (Today would be my 21st wedding anniversary, so I’m a bit restimulated.) But in terms of your survey, Walt, none of these items counts as life-changing events to me. I do not say that lightly. I had two strokes before age 40; believe me, they were life changing. Oh, gobs of money would be nice, but I know I wouldn’t blog about it; I am very private about money matters.

Let’s face it, I am a no-hoper on most of these. When my first book was published, my mother called it a great cure for insomnia. Ouch. Hasn’t kept me from writing, but it wasn’t a life change. My grandmother told me the best way to win the lottery was to keep the dollar in my pocket.I took it to heart, possibly the beginning of my notorious cheapness. The rest are even more unlikely. Walking and talking are gifts and honors enough for me, with reading and laughing and enjoying the view. I say this while pausing in the middle of a major life change. Now back to packing!

By: nichole

nichole — Thu, 25 Aug 2005 12:09:18 +0000

Interesting topic. Re: publicizing a lotto win: many states are required to identify winners (open records laws, etc.) so it behooves a player to prepare for attention before claiming a prize.

By: walt

walt — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 14:29:11 +0000

A good, thoughtful comment. The items weren’t designed to match; they were a variety of items that some people would consider life-changing in various ways. (I left out the Nobel Prize and Pulitzer Prize…)

Actually, I have heard of people throwing big parties to celebrate being divorced. And I wouldn’t be surprised if someone threw a party on behalf of an honorary doctorate, their own or someone else’s.

Your last paragraph speaks to the reality of some events…

By: Seth Finkelstein

Seth Finkelstein — Wed, 24 Aug 2005 14:11:01 +0000

The items involving large amounts of money would be life-changing by most definitions (MacArthur Award is $500,000). Though if I won the lottery, I might not publicize it to everyone I knew, as that seems likely to create problems.

Some items don’t match well - receiving an honorary doctorate might be something to note in a company newsletter as personal news, but people generally don’t throw big parties for it (has anyone had a big party to celebrate getting divorced?)

I think one way to frame is asking what changed the CIRCUMSTANCES of one’s life: e.g. Spouses, Kids, Money, Job, etc.

Honors can be indirect changes by leading to changes in the primary factors above. Or not.

When I won an EFF Pioneer Award, it was life-changing in complicated way, in that it was an honor, but it didn’t change the primary circumstances of my life (I wasn’t any richer, it didn’t give me any particular employment, etc.). .